Your well-being is the first thing you have to focus on because a pressurized or burdened mind can ruin your whole life and destroy your relationships. Family Manipulation often plays a role in disturbing our well-being and mental peace but you can address manipulative behaviors by setting self-care boundaries for yourself. It is true you can force change in others thinking but it is crucial for your mental health to make yourself protected from Family Manipulation Tactics. The bet is to distance yourself from manipulative people.
It happens everywhere in every family that some degree of manipulation ruins the people’s mental well-being. However, sometimes this is not as harmful as you think. For example, when your mom says that she wants to spend some time with you because she had spent 15 hours in labor while she was trying to bring you into this world. She is not exploiting you, but just wants to show gestures of love and care. So,. it is necessary to understand the difference between negative manipulation and positive loving demands.
As a family, you often crack jokes with your siblings or even irritate your mother by saying the words she used to utter in anger. In these situations, you’re all on the same page and enjoy the company of family members, these tactics are not triggering any negative feelings. These relationships also give you the opportunity to share your true feelings and never mind it. This is the purity of any relationship that makes it healthy. This means as a family, you, your parents and siblings share a lot of emotions and sometimes the emotions are used deliberately. When it happens you may get disturbed. For example, when your sibling exploits you with your weakness when they want you to do a thing you don’t like, you feel pain and grief.
Therefore, try to differentiate between manipulation and care. Online health point has brought detailed information about manipulation tactics that can harm your mental well-being and how to respond to them.
What Does It Look Like?
Manipulation is an under the cover way to control others. For example when someone makes you give something you like the most such as power, rank, any belonging or you, for their interest, they are trying to control your decisions. In families, it happens frequently. People think it is real to impose their designs and beliefs on those whom they love. But it is also true that manipulating any family member when they are an older sibling , parent or someone with authority is not so simple and easy.
In addition, in some families it is an addition. Therefore, you may not recognize manipulative tricks at once. But in future you can recognize manipulative tactics by introducing these key signs:
- You often feel confused or guilty.
- You often feel pressured or rucked for doing something.
- You feel it sufficient to say No.
- Truths are often twisted that you can prove.
Invalidation of Feelings and Emotions
Manipulative people always try to make you do things against your desires and get succeeded in making you believe that your feelings don’t matter. Generally, close family members invalidate your feelings by:
- Telling you how you should feel.
- Talking or interrupting over you.
- Punishing you just for showing they care for you.
For example, we don’t want to attend the new year party at your aunt’s house because the cousin who used to bully you will be there too. But your parents force you to attend the event by making you realize that you’re a selfish and rude person. They make you shameful by reminding them of the good deeds your aunt did for you in the past. They force you to go there and be polite with everyone.
They are continuous efforts to send you to that or invalidate the distress and pain you experienced. It also makes you hurt because they don’t purchase their support white you need it. Thus, invalidation makes you believe that your feelings and desires are important. This belief makes you more vulnerable to further manipulation causing ruining of your mental well-being.
Emotional Blackmailing
Emotional blackmailing is a deliberate attempt to suppress your feelings and convince you to do what they want.
Basic blackmailing tactics have specific patterns, such as:
- They show their desire first and make demands.
- When you try to refuse them, they pressure you to get in.they often use flattery or threatening products to suppress your emotions.
- When you agree to do what they want ,they are showing care and love for you.
The story doesn’t end here. This is the start of a journey where they will always make you do things that they want by using similar tactics. Now, they always blackmail you without any hesitation.
Gaslighting
Gaslighting a poisonous pattern that always makes you confused about your feelings, doubted about your memory and questioning your perception of reality. This manipulative tactic always reunites your mental peace and has a harmful impact on your mental health and self-perception.
When they try to gaslight you, they may:
- Pretend to forget they had made a promise.
- Insist that you’re imagining things that don’t exist.
- Count your memories and deny you.
- Insist they had told you something important but they didn’t.
- Try to convince you about something that never happened.
Guilt-Tripping
Manipulative people often try to make you feel; guilty by taking the responsibility of something that you didn’t do. When they succeed to make you feel guilty, they make you do anything they want. For example, they may ask you to solve their problems.
Feeling guilty when you have done something wrong is not malicious. But when you didn’t do wrong, you shouldn’t feel guilty. However, when a family member continuously tries to make you guilty about what you’re doing, it’s obvious they are using manipulative tactics to control you.
Withholding Affection
It is the most hurting way of manipulation. When family members show their love and care for you only when you do what they want, they are withholding affection, a manipulative truck. but when you don’t fulfill their demands, they may:
- Imply they don’t love you.
- Blame you rather than circumstances for your failure.
- Criticize and punish you.
- Isolation tactic is used for this type of manipulation. For example they may:
- Adopt silent treatment.
- Threaten other family members with isolation or punishment if they show affection for you.
- Say no one else cares about you.
- Make you realize that you’re alone.
Victim-hood
Playing a role of victim is another tactic of manipulation people use to achieve their goals. These people become victims and blame others for difficulties they experience. They always downplay their own irresponsibility and do nothing to help themselves. They often try to turn the situation around by blaming you for anything happening in their life.
For example, when a family member blames you that they forgot you took the medications because you had not come home early at night. They blame you for their sickness. This pattern of behavior indicates the victim-hood mentality. They often add exaggerated stories of their problems and difficulties to win clothes sympathy.
Aggression or Personal Attacks
This is the proactive mode to control others. Aggression makes other people frightened and ten manipulative people easily control the feared ones.
Common aggressive attempts to control otters include:
- Intimidation.
- Mocking or shaming you.
- Blaming you and spanning out when they can control you by manipulation.
These people also use verbal abuse to manipulate you, such as saying things like:
- Don’t be so sensitive, it’s a joke.
- You should listen to me because I’m your well wisher.
- You cannot learn good thighs without experiencing tough times.
Shifting the Goalposts
In this form of manipulation, the manual users make you feel unworthy. They seldom have hard goals to achieve and when you can get them, they make you feel inadequate. They look down upon you, no matter how hard you try.
The thing to focus is, this failure is not due to any shortcoming in you, it is because they had set unreachable goals for you. They set an overly demanding criteria,so that they may make a mistake and they can blame you for failure.
ALSO READ: https://onlinehealthpoint.com/are-you-dating-a-narcissist-how-to-get-out-of-it/
How to Respond Manipulative Tactics
It is always stressful when you are dealing with family manipulation. The war makes you tired and you often feel helpless. Not showing a response helps you avoid conflicts but on either hand the anxious yours think that you’re an easy thing.
You should focus on strategies united below to learn how react to manipulative tactics so that you may protect your well-being:
Call Out the Manipulation
First of all, learn to identify manipulative behaviors. Whenever you feel nervous progressively due to their tactics, don’t get sad or disappointed. They actually want to make you hopeless and shameful. Perform breathing exercises to ground yourself. Then give some failure statements to avoid conflict with respectful language. This is the best way to show your feelings and emotions without insulting anyone.
Let Them Know How it Makes You Feel
Manipulative tactics often cypress your good deeds and thoughts. You should tell them about their suppressing behavior without any fear and hesitation. Make them realize that you have understood all their manipulation.
Try these approaches to show your feelings:
- Express your anger and disliking in a calm way. Tell them not to shout on you in polite way.
- Explain to them that you knew from the start that they are trying to manipulate you but you are ignoring them.
- Express your feelings that you knew their perspective but remain silent for their respect and honor.
Remember, your safety and mental legacy always comes first. If you want to do something, refuse strongly in a polite way.
Set Self-Care Boundaries
Self-care boundaries help outline your likes and dislikes. When you make boundaries, it’s clear that you don’t want to be controlled by anyone.
But the hurting fact is that, when you set boundaries, people accuse you of “withholding”. They take it as a punishment and blame you for being rude and selfish. But sticking to the boundaries prevents damage.
Avoid Isolating Yourself
Talking about manipulative tactics or other abusive tricks is not easy and common. You can just discuss it with those who’re very trustworthy for you. They may be your family members, friend, colleague or school mate. Sharing your pain gives you relief that sets you free from an invisible prison.
When your dear one pushes up support after knowing all the hardships you experience in the firm of manipulation, you get a new strength to fight against abusers. If the manipulators are your family menaces, it is difficult to avoid them completely. You can just avoid the chances to stay with them by prioritizing those who treat you with love and affection. Time who offers your sincerity and unconditional kindness are your well wishers. You can rely on them.
How to Find Support?
Family manipulation affects your well-being and also damages your self-esteem and annuity to develop healthy relationships in future.
Getting help from a therapist or family counselor who specializes in family dynamics can provide you support to address problematic behaviors of your family members.
Therapists can help you navigate ongoing situation by:
- Teaching you skills to cope with stressed situations.
- Offering guidance for setting self-care boundaries.
- Teaching you communication skills.
Conclusion
Family manipulative tactics affect your mental health. You can address these problematic behaviors by taking some steps to protect your mental peace. Just focus on your own and don’t let anyone impose anything on you that you don’t like.
This is a fact that you have some duties regarding your family, but remember, your mental health and peace is the first thing you have to achieve. If someone in your family is trying to disturb your focus and makes you feel that you’re a loser, you should maintain a distance between you and them. It’s your basic right as a free human.
