Do you want to know if your relationship is healthy or unhealthy? Signs of an unhealthy or toxic relationship include lack of support, feeling unprotected with your partner, persistent jealousy or feeling drained after spending time with your partner. Signs of toxic relationships guide you that you need to leave.
In contrast, a healthy relationship is the real blessing of life. This type of relationship makes you feel happy, energetic and enthusiastic. In a lovely relationship, you and your partner openly share your problems, work together to solve them, make decisions together and genuinely enjoy each other’s company.
The other side of a relationship that is known as a toxic relationship may prove harmful for your peace of mind. This situation indicates that you need to change some things or behaviors to rebuild a healthy relationship with your partner.
Sometimes, your relationship doesn’t remain enjoyable, even though you still love your partner. The reason may be some misunderstanding. When you or your partner take each other’s actions as wrong and often start arguing on minor issues, your relationship becomes toxic and ruins your peace of mind. Most of the time, you did not recognize the actual cause and didn’t try to resolve the issue but became angry and exchanged harsh words. This situation sometimes leads to separation among you.
Recognizing the signs of a toxic relationship and finding strategies to resolve the disputed matters between both of you can help to save the relationship. In this article, you will learn everything you need to know about signs of toxic relationship and how to cope.
Signs of a Toxic Relationship
Some signs of toxic relationships are more obvious and prominent than others. For example, when you’re in a toxic relationship you may find the red flags easily. Some of such signs are also found in you . These red flag signs lead to the end of a relationship. The common signs of Toxic Relationship include:
Acts of Disrespect
Behaviors showing disrespect for your partner include casually forgetting special events and being chronically late. Such behaviors indicate red flags. But sometimes these acts are nor done intentionally because some people do not have much time to make and keep plans on time. Their tough busy schedule proves a hurdle in fulfilling the commitments. Then a conversation about their behavior can help resolve the issue. If you are sure that these actions are not intentional, you can make improvements through discussion.
Lack of Support
You will enjoy your partner’s support in all areas of life while you’re in a healthy relationship. But a toxic relationship can be indicated when your partner doesn’t support you during your hard times and does not feel happy when you achieve your goal or win a competition.
In short, when your achievements become a competition between you and your partner, the relationship becomes toxic. Now, you both don’t feel; good when spending time together. Both of you don’t show support and encourage each other while striving to reach one’s goal. This means that your partner don;t give importance to your interests and needs, they only think about what they want.
Jealousy or Envy
In a toxic relationship you may feel an occasional envy. The jealousy factor compels you to think negatively about your partner’s achievements. The same negative feelings of envy rise in the mind of your partner. It is instructive behavior of every human that when they come in a competition they become suspicious and mistrusted. These factors ruin your relationship quickly.
Toxic Conversation
Ways of communication or your speaking style affects your listener a lot. Studies about human behaviors suggest that if you want to develop a good relationship with someone, the main requirement is to talk politely and show kindness through your words and actions. However, in a toxic relationship this thing vanishes. People in a toxic relationship, make a conversation full of criticism and sarcasm. They don’t show respect for each other. These actions often lead to divorce.
In addition, mocking your partner’s words repeated a lot when you’re with your family members or friends can ruin your relationship. People often start dodging calls of their partner to take a break from the inevitable arguments.
Resentment
Keeping grudges inside your heart and mind against your partner may lead to building up resentment or frustration which can make a smaller chasm much bigger. So don’t let your grudges fester chips away from intimacy.
In addition, when you feel that it is not safe for you to discuss your concerns with your partner, this is the time to get separated because this feeling will bother you and you will go to converse harshly. Harsh conversations increase resentment.
Controlling Behaviors
Showing controlling behaviors all the time can make your partner offended . For example, when your partner asks where you were all the time, you may become irritated. And when you fail to answer them immediately, they become annoyed. Ignoring their texts and late replying is also a negative gesture that makes your relationship unhealthy.
Such behaviors show that your relationship has been invaded by jealousy and lack of trust. But you can control this situation. Both of you can be the reason for the relationship if you don’t change your behaviors. Studies claim that sometimes, such controlling attempts can cause physical abuse.
Dishonesty
When you find that you’re constantly lying about who you meet up with or where you were last night, you are living in a toxic relationship. This means you want to avoid spending time with your partner because you worry that they will react harshly when you tell the truth about your whereabouts. This dishonesty is the clear signal of an unhealthy relationship.
Constant Stress
Minor life challenges, such as being jobless, or ill for a longer period of time can make your partner offended. They start to lose their interest in you due to your constant stress. When you live with stress or depression, you make your partner worried. These factors created tension between both of you. However, when you are not experiencing stress from outside sources by feeling it at home when you’re with your partner, it ensures that your relationship is no more. The increasing stress causes your physical and mental illness and you often feel miserable. This physical and mental exhaustion causes the end of a relationship.
How to Fix a Toxic Relationship?
It is a common thought that the toxic relationship cannot be fixed again but the reality is opposite to it. You can rebuild or fix your ruined relationship by pondering on the factors that have made your relationship unhealthy. Making some better changes in your behavior can help fix your relationship. But the important thing is that both partners must want to change the situation. If only one partner is trying to make the situation better, unfortunately, the result will be negative.
Here are some suggestions that may help you fix a toxic relationship if your partner also agrees:
Willing to Invest Yourself
Investing yourself in a relationship can help improve the situation. If you and your partner are willing to invest yourself, this means you both want to live together. This is good for both of you. You can take a start with a deepening conversation that can show your interest in your partner. Try to start the regular busy routine and spend quality time together.
Accepting Your Responsibilities
The most important thing to save a relationship is your and your partner’s wish to make it strong and beautiful. If you and your partner know the importance of your relationship, you both will understand your responsibilities in this regard. Observing your past behaviors that had ruined your relationship can help you understand the factors that had harmed your bond with your partner. Your self-awareness and self-responsibility can play a vital role in recognizing the responsibilities that you must perform to improve your relationship.
In short, both of you should excerpt your responsibilities to contribute to eradicating the toxicity of your relationship. You can feel improvement.
Openness to Outside Help
Sometimes, the misunderstanding between you and your partner reaches the highest level and cannot be resolved on its own. Then you need outside help like an individual or a counseling community. You should not feel ashamed for getting professional help to reveal your issues. Sometimes, both of you cannot understand the factors contributing to the toxicity of your relationship. Then you need relationship counselors who offer you neutral analysis and unbiased perspective that can help rebuild your relationship. They may also guide you to address and resolve the conflict leading to making healthier relationship patterns.
Shifting from Blaming to Understanding
This is the best path to follow, if you both want to save your relationship. You both should steer the conversation away from blaming and toward learning and understanding. You can shift your behavior from negative to positive by replacing “it is your fault” with “ i think we’re not understanding each other’s point of view”. You can avoid conflict or harsh conversation by saying “ I can understand that you’re upset with the situation at this time, so we will talk after sometime about it when you feel relaxed”. These steps can make your partner happy and they try to talk with you politely.
Important Tips to Move Forward
According to research, many couples succeed in repairing their toxic relationship by following the rules of patience, diligence and affection. No doubt repairing a toxic relationship is a time taking and hard task but it can be done easily if both the partners are interested in rebuilding their bond. Studies show that the main cause of appearing toxic in most relationships is the result of longstanding issues in the relationship or sometimes it happens due to unaddressed issues from a previous relationship. Here are some tips that help you turn the things astound:
Avoid Dwelling on the Past
Addressing the past events is the main step to repair your toxic relationship. But this is not the one and only solution to get things in better shape. Resisting the temptation to constantly refer back to negative scenarios can help you release tension and frustration. Thus you can start once again.
Practicing Healthy Communication
Mending a toxic relationship can become easier by paying attention to how you talk with each other. Discuss your relationship issues gently in a soft voice. Changing the way of talking can make your partner positive about you and your relationship with you. For example, you should say “I get hurt when you don’t pay attention to me while I’m talking to you and I feel that I’m a useless thing for you” instead of “ you are a cruel person and you don’t listen to me”.
Being Accountable
Accountability can play a key role in repairing your relationship. Both partners should focus on their actions that are increasing the toxicity of their relationship. Thus identifying your mistakes can lead you to control your wrong deeds. Take responsibility for your actions to make your partner feel that you’re still interested in moving forward.
Starting Therapy
People experiencing toxic relationship issues, generally avoid therapy because they take it as an unnecessary thing. But the reality is that openness to therapy can be a good sign to show that you’re interested in mending your relationship. Both partners should move forward and set an appointment with a professional therapist.
In addition to couples therapy, individual therapy is also a good step. It also offers various ways to explore the factors that might contribute to relationship repairment. It also helps you pay more attention to your toxic behavior which is making your bond weak.
Conclusion
Harsh behaviors and negative thinking spoil the beauty of your relationship. Ignoring each other’s concerns, neglecting the responsibilities you have to perform in a relationship, jealousy, envy, and poor communication are some common signs of toxic relationships. Abusive language and toxic communication also can erode the foundations of your relationship. But the good news is that you can take some steps to stop crumbling in your relationship. These repairing steps can help rebuild your relationship. Therapists may help you identify the factors inducing toxicity in your relationship. They also guide you explore compassionate and affectionate approaches to solve the problems corroding your relationship.
