All sympathies are for you dear, if you’re Dating a Narcissist. Your narcissist partner surely has no friends, often tries to manipulate you or gaslight you and lacks empathy. If you’re dating a narcissist, you must have observed that they talk about themselves most of the time. Even during your first date, they tell you a lot about themselves and demand you to appreciate them after every minute.
According to experts, such people are actually the victims of Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). This mental condition makes them consider themselves the perfect personalities who are superior to others. They always expect to be admired and treated as a celebrity everywhere and every time.
Psychology studies tell that Narcissist people belong to a group of people having a mental disorder, known as NPD. Our celebrity oriented culture has made such people dominate. Therefore, they consider themselves idealized and superior. However, psychologists say that this is not self-love. They say that a narcissist is actually a victim of insecurity and inferiority complex. He tries to make others feel the same way so that he can control their emotions for his/her benefits. But intense narcissism brings dysfunctional behaviors and an irritating attitude in their personality.
Experts say that the narcissist person is under the influence of arrogant and self-centered thinking which is devoid of empathy and consideration for other people. They show these behaviors in all places including their office, home or among friends and relationships.
One more bad habit of a narcissist person is they never accept their fault and therefore do not want to change their behavior. They have a greater tendency to blame other people for their wrong deeds. They are also habitual of personal attacks. If you have a narcissist in your life and don’t leave them, it’s good for you to fulfill their demands to avoid the rage and cold behavior. If you;re dating a narcissist, no doubt you;re in great difficulty.
According to studies, the people having all these traits are unable to recognize the rights and opinions of others and don’t pay attention to others’ problems.
Common Traits of A Narcissist
According to an article published in a journal of The Department of Mental Health in the NPD Institute of Research, in 2020, the narcissist person shows some permanent characteristics that tell others about their narcissistic personality. If any five of these traits are found in a person, he/she will be a perfect narcissist. These traits make it sure that the relevant person has been qualified as an NPD victim.
Here are some sins that may help you to identify, if you’re dating with a narcissist:
- They have a high sense of entitlement.
- Have frequent demands.
- Have a grandiose sense of self-obsession.
- They need constant and repeated admiration and support.
- They have envy towards others and believe that others are also envious of them.
- They believe that it is special and unique.
- They have a high urge to be understood and adored by the people belonging to high status.
Experts also worked on finding out more ways to diagnose narcissism in someone other than the above mentioned criteria. They also told about the ways narcissist people affect others lives. They say that narcissism is simply a sense of selfishness when a person becomes unable to consider others feelings. Experts and researchers agree with the idea that narcissism is a mental; health disorder that is characterized by varying degrees of NPD symptoms. A psychotherapist Dr. Fran Walfish, the author of “The Self Aware Parent.” says “Narcissism falls on a spectrum.” This means that narcissists have problems related to their physical and mental health. They may suffer from panic attacks or anxiety. These factors also contribute to ruining their relationship with their partner.
However,there is no official criteria to diagnose NPD in a person. You may ignore the traits described in criteria because you are romantically involved with that person. Therefore the diagnosis is often tough and late. But a professional mental health provider can diagnose the condition with the help of some psychiatric tricks and make a close observation of the person’s habits.
In Spite of all these factors, online health points are still trying to help you in identifying the narcissism in your partner. For this, here are some indicators that can help you identify if you;re dating a Narcissist and also some tips to handle them. Keep on reading!
They Attract You with Their Charming Personality
When you fall for a Narcissist, you forget the other world and its coloring life. At first, you attract narcissistic people due to their personality and charm. You live a life like a fairy-tale in initial days of relationships and feel like a royal person because in the initial days the narcissists often used to admire your partner and told them and o that they loved your partner very much. They also emphasized the compatibility you have and also told you about your gorgeous looks and smartness.
This is because they always want to be with the people who have a special status in society. They also desired to be appreciated and admired by their partner. In addition, experts suggest that at the beginning emotions are not strong enough they need to be nurtured with time but if you are dating a Narcissist, you will fall harder at the beginning. If their love gets strong for you in early days, be alert because this may be the sign of narcissism. Sometimes you may feel that your partner has no interest to know more about you and just wants to be listened to, this is another form of false love. Be attentive dear because studies show that narcissist people are masters in manufacturing superficial connections in early meetings.
They Always Talk about Their Perfection and Greatness
Narcissist people are habitual of discussing their achievements and success. They exaggerate their perfection and hard work. They have an inflamed sense of self-obsession and self-importance. They are experts in making themselves recognized as superior personalities. According to studies, they do these things to overcome their phobia of inferiority complex. They are afraid of being ignored. Therefore they told you about them a lot again and again. In this way they create an appearance of being self-assured and prove that they are smarter than everyone else.
“A qualified professional psychologist Dr. Angela Grace said that narcissist people used to boast of their achievements and talents to receive adoration from others.”
That’s why they don’t have much time to listen to you. But this trait has two firms, one always talks about themselves and the second doesn’t listen to you with interest.
Your Compliments Nourish Them
In routine life, narcissist people look too confident and bold. But according to psychological studies, they have some complexes and insecurities. To lessen their feelings of low self-esteem, they try to gain more attention. Therefore they always exaggerate their talent and success, so that you may admire them all the time b. But when you don’t appreciate them according to their desire, they start to fish for it. They constantly remind you with their behavior that you should adore them.
In addition, these people have a great talent to use other people strategically. They often use empathic people to nourish their self-obsession and make them strong in front of others. But the problem is created by their lack of self-esteem. This trait forces them to get more attention and adoration. They used to punish other people around them for their low self-confidence.
They Lack Long-Term Friendships
Narcissists do not believe in long-term friendships because they develop conflicts with others instantly on minor issues. When you date a narcissist, you will observe that they do not have many friends. Another reason for their short-term friendships is they have insecurities and are hypersensitive. Therefore, they don’t want to share their friends with others. If a close one tries to hang out with other people, they break their relationship. If you;re dating a narcissist, they will blame you for not spending enough time with them and male you feel guilty. They may criticize you for spending more time with your friends and also degrade your friends. This is the sign when they are ready to break up with you.
They Don’t Have Empathy
Narcissists do not care for others and their feelings. They do not feel hesitation to dishearten someone by their words or actions. This is the most prominent trait of people having NPD, that they are ignorant of the art of apology. They never try to understand the feelings of other people. They do not have the skill to see or validate your perspective. As a partner or lover they don’t care about you. They don’t consider what is better for your physical or mental health. They never care for you even if you had a bad day at school or work. Sometimes, their facial expressions say it all that they are getting bored when you try to express your feelings. This may make you mad sometimes. These factors affect the bonds or relationships between you and your partner and eventually the romanticism ends and the relationship collapses.
They Tend to Gashlight Their Partner
Emotional abuse of gaslighting are the most dangerous tools that a narcissist uses. People with NPD also have the ability to distort your reality by spinning the truth. They do this when they are in fear of abandonment. Following indicators will help you to identify when they gaslight you:
- You feel abrupt changes in your own personality that weren’t part of your personality before.
- You behave nervously and have less confidence.
- You often apologize.
- You think that you always do wrong.
- You sometimes try to assess your partner’s reality but can’t.
- You convince other people that your partner is caring and loving but reality is opposite to it.
- You always remain busy in making your partner happy with your actions.
All these things soil your personality and your narcissist partner becomes successful in realizing you that you’re nothing without them. They do so to make you doubt yourself so that you cannot leave them.
They Pick on You Constantly
A mean person always attacks your personality, your likes and dislikes. Similarly, your narcissist partner tries to find out the ways to tease you and realize you’re not perfect for them. It doesn’t happen at the start of a relationship. But when they have confirmed that they have taken control of your nerves, they start criticizing you for what you eat, what you wear, what type of people you like etc.
Studies show that people with NPD have well developed traits of hostility and antagonism. They call your names, make jokes of you that are not funny but insulting and put you down always. They just aim to lower your self-esteem so that they can feel powerful before you. They like your reaction because they know that tube defeated you emotionally.
How to Get Out of This Relationship?
Having a partner who is a Narcissist is not a pleasant thing. This is a spoiled and poisonous relationship that is draining your positivity and abilities gradually. If you’re dating a narcissist, you will understand the bitterness of their personality very well. No doubt at the start, everything feels charming, attractive and pleasant. Like all other love birds, you also feel butterflies in your stomach when you have a good time with your partner. With the passage of time, they start changing their behavior towards you. It seems they are getting offended by you gradually. Now, they always criticize you for everything and make you insecure.
For sometime you can bear all the emotional bullies and torture but at last you want to quit. Yes, here is the point. The best way to get rid of this full of depression relationship us to cut ties. Don’t give any explanation for what you do or like to do.
Although this article contains information about a narcissist, keep remember that it doesn’t judge or diagnose your partner. These are not the ultimate symptoms of a narcissist. Purpose of this article is to only help you make you familiar with the such behaviors or actions that are unacceptable in a loving relationship. The symptoms described in the article are not final signs of a narcissist but they can only help you to evaluate someone’s personality and behavior towards you.